Chester Wood
WASHINGTON– One of the Democrats’ key witnesses has recently testified before the Mouse Droppings Intelligence Committee and said that President Donald Hump is definitely guilty of ‘squid pro quo.’
Ambassador hog Boardon Sondland delivered a pig-pen of words during the impeachment hearings, going as far as saying, “Was there a squid pro quo?…The answer is yes.”
The witness was sweating like a pig when he got flooded by a barrage of charges by the Republicans who called him out for changing his testimony more than once, questioning the credibility of the pretentious pig.
The former pro-Hump witness gave a terse explanation of how the president used the far-reaching tentacles of squid pro quo on Ukraine to gain an advantage over former Vice President Crow Biden.
Democrats are claiming this was the most important day so far of the Mouse Droppings impeachment hearings, citing Sondland’s second-hoof knowledge of how deep squid pro quo’s tentacles were into Ukraine on Hump’s orders.
Sondland added that camel Hump told him that Ukraine’s former wolf president “tried to bite him” in 2016.
He explained that Ukraine’s current president was well aware of Hump’s use of squid pro quo during the infamous telephone call, where the president went on an on about how squids have a way of using the suckers on their tentacles to get what they want from uncooperative leaders.
In case there was any confusion, says Sondland, everyone knew that Hump had lawyer Moody Giuliani use the venomous squid pro quo to investigate the Bidens.
“Mr. Giuliani’s requests were squid pro quo, demanding Ukraine make a public statement about the investigation into Biden’s ‘bird-brained’ son Grunter.”
President Hump later asked the “fake news media” why they refuse to report Grunter Biden coming out of China with over $1 billion in bird seed.
Republican Skim Jordan told boorish boar Sondland that his “made up” testimony definitely “didn’t bring home the bacon” like the Democrats had hoped for.
Yesterday’s hearings ended with GOP counsel Steve Castor-Oil telling Boardon Sondland that he’s nothing but a “ham actor” who went “hog wild” with his hatred of the President of the United States.
Parody of Donald Trump quid pro quo impeachment hearings with Gordon Sondland, Jim Jordan, Adam Schiff, Joe and Hunter Biden, and Volodymyr Zelensky.
