Paul Barker
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA– The California convict tried to escape by stealing a police car, but the long arm of the law caught the dangerous deer.
John ‘Uncle’ Buck, 6, escaped from the San Francisco Hunter Detention Ward early this morning by hiding inside a large manure wagon before stealing a police car parked outside of the prison grounds.
‘Uncle’ Buck was taken into custody early this afternoon after leading local police on a wild goose chase through the winding streets of San Francisco. No bystanders were reported injured, other than a squirrel who had to be taken to a local hospital for chest pains after having to run across the street extra quickly to avoid the car chase.
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Buck is a member of the Antler Head Gangsters gang and was serving time for a string of gang-related crimes, including theft, bribery, drug distribution, and murder.
The Justice Department describes the gang as a “violent, deer supremacist street gang that loves goring other animal breeds with their sharp antlers.”
News sources obtained video surveillance of the police chase from a local resident who wished to remain anonymous because he is a coyote.
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The inmate was taken into custody after a minor brawl with police, having to be tased several times to be brought into submission due to his large size
According to news reports, the police car he was alleged to have taken had several antler puncture holes in the roof, numerous hoof prints on the dash, and many deer ticks on the seat.
