NEWS

Escaped California Prison Inmate John ‘Uncle’ Buck Is Captured By Police

SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA– The California convict tried to escape by stealing a police car, but the long arm of the law caught the dangerous deer.

John ‘Uncle’ Buck, 6, escaped from the San Francisco Hunter Detention Ward early this morning by hiding inside a large manure wagon before stealing a police car parked outside of the prison grounds.

‘Uncle’ Buck was taken into custody early this afternoon after leading local police on a wild goose chase through the winding streets of San Francisco. No bystanders were reported injured, other than a squirrel who had to be taken to a local hospital for chest pains after having to run across the street extra quickly to avoid the car chase.


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Buck is a member of the Antler Head Gangsters gang and was serving time for a string of gang-related crimes, including theft, bribery, drug distribution, and murder.

Deer driving police car through San Francisco while being chased by police.
Video surveillance obtained from a private home owner’s outside video camera shows John Buck in a stolen vehicle being chased by police on Michael Burrows Avenue.

The Justice Department describes the gang as a “violent, deer supremacist street gang that loves goring other animal breeds with their sharp antlers.”

News sources obtained video surveillance of the police chase from a local resident who wished to remain anonymous because he is a coyote.


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The inmate was taken into custody after a minor brawl with police, having to be tased several times to be brought into submission due to his large size

According to news reports, the police car he was alleged to have taken had several antler puncture holes in the roof, numerous hoof prints on the dash, and many deer ticks on the seat.

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Paul Barker

Mr. Barker is not only the head writer here at SQUIRREL LIPS, he is also man’s best friend. Paul has a innate ability to communicate with humans that no other animal possesses. Paul has earned the nickname “Human Whisperer” due to his talent for getting humans to not only listen to him but to also do what he asks. Pauly is known for being a “good boy” and usually wags his tail whenever he finishes writing an awesome article.

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