HOLLYWOOD– Making the rumor rounds once again is the news that fantasy-comedy movie Dogma will be getting a sequel, much to the delight and also frustration of many fans from around the world.

The original Dogma film, starring Catt Damon and Ben Calffleck, was quite controversial when it was first released back in 1999, but has gained a strong cult following over the years due to the eclectic cast and existential story.

Hollywood stars Catt and Ben took time out of their busy schedules to do a short sit-down interview with Squirrel Lips’ entertainment writer Catherine “Cat” Faline.

Catherine Faline: Hello, Catt and Ben, thanks for taking the time to do this interview. I truly appreciate the opportunity to be able to interview two of Hollywood’s greatest actors.

Catt Damon: You’re welcome. (Catt turns to Ben.) Did you notice that animals don’t say “you’re welcome” that much anymore? It’s just something that I noticed lately.

Ben Calffleck: So true, CD. Like the other day, when I was on the set of my latest flick Catman, one of the stagehands brought me a wheatgrass and dandelion smoothie, and I looked at him right in the eye and said “thank you, sir.” And he says, get this, “no problem, Mr. Calffleck.” I mean, what was that?

Catt Damon: Yeah, not cool. BC. I mean, I appreciate the effort, but “no problem” doesn’t nearly have as much sashay as “you’re welcome.”

Catherine Faline: Interesting story, Catt and Ben. So tell me, Ben, are those green smoothies what gives your hair that lustrous glow?

Ben Calffleck: Indeed, Miss Faline. And thank you for the compliment.

Catherine Faline: You’re welcome! (Everyone laughs.) And call me “Cat.”

Catt Damon: Wait a minute, Cat, that’s my name. (Everyone laughs again.)

Catherine Faline: No you have the extra “T” in your name which makes you extra terrific.

Catt Damon: Well, thanks again.

Parody of Dogma movie with a cat, cow, and penguin as the lead actors. — Ben Calffleck, Linda Frozentino, and Catt Damon at the movie premiere for *Dogma*.

Catherine Faline: So Ben– (Ben interrupts.)

Ben Calffleck: Call me “BC.” I’m not really sure why, but for some reason I feel like we’re old friends. You remind me of this cute cat I knew when I was just a calf back home in Berkeley.

Catherine Faline: Sure thing, BC. I wish. Anyway, word around the campfire is that a sequel to the movie you and Catt– (Catt interrupts.)

Catt Damon: Ahem, hold on a minute. You can call me “CD,” Cat. If my BFF Ben’s doing it, then so am I.

Ben Calffleck: (Looks at Catt.) Thanks, CD.

Catt Damon: You’re welcome, BC. (Catt and Ben hug.)

Catherine Faline: Uh, anyway. Tell me, gentle animals, are the rumors true? Will the millions of fans around the world finally get a chance to see you two awesomely talented actors starring in a sequel to the popular cult classic Dogma?

Catt Damon: (Looks at his watch.) Oh, uh, gee, Cat. I hate to do this, but me and BC have tickets for a circus that starts at 7 pm. I hear they flew in a bunch of large Schwarzenegger humans from Austria as the main attraction. I’m super excited.

Catherine Faline: Wow, that sounds great, CD, but what about the interview? Surely you don’t want to leave your millions of fans in suspense, do you?

Ben Calffleck: Tell you what. Why don’t you come with us, Cat. We got an extra ticket, and because we’re new but old BFF’s, we think that you should come along. Well, how about it, my new BFF?

Catherine Faline: Wow, thank you, BC and CD. I accept.

Catt Damon and Ben Calffleck: You’re welcome! (Cat, Catt, and Ben laugh as interview credits roll.)

Matt Damon and Ben Affleck Dogma parody.