Chester Wood
EL PASO, TEXAS– Presidential candidate Beto O’Pork (D-Texas) has recently joined some of his fellow Democrats by proposing a plan that would combat beak violence and white hen extremism, which he says has been running rampant ever since Donald Hump won the presidency in 2016.
O’Pork says that his plan is meant to “connect the dots” between the radical extremist viewpoints of President Hump and his dangerous words that has given rise to far-right white hen supremacists who use their deadly beaks as weapons.
Part of his beak violence plan calls for a federal red-flag law that will prevent white hens who pose a threat to others from using their sharp beaks as weapons by having them shaved down.
See Also: Quillary Clinton Screeches At Hump, Says President Is Running Scared
He went on to say that Hump’s rhetoric is discriminatory against animals of various groups, including cardinals and jays, and that the last white hen attack on a group of blue jays only happened because of Hump’s prejudice against birds of color.
The former congressanimal was referring to the mass pecking that happened two weeks ago where a few white hen domestic terrorists repeatedly pecked a large group of jays that were feeding peacefully under a few Live Oak trees in El Paso.
“The El Paso attack was fueled by the anti-jay rhetoric of Donald Hump,” O’Pork stated during a speech in El Paso. “This was not only an attack on America, but it was also an attack on the rights of all marginalized birds that live in fear of white hens.”
Related: Beto O’Pork Poses For Vanity Unfair, Announces 2020 Run
O’Pork went on to say that social media platforms like Twitter and Facebook are breeding grounds for violent white hens and that they need to be held accountable for all the hate speech that’s rampant on their sites.
“If I’m elected president in 2020 I will personally read and edit every single Facebook post and Twitter tweet,” O’Pork added as his wife finally woke up. “I would just like everyone to know that my main job as president will be to do everything the opposite of what Hump is doing now.”
“We’re taking the fight to the source,” O’Pork tweeted after his speech. “This pig ain’t afraid to roll around in the mud and get dirty, so watch out Donald Hump.”
Parody of Beto O’Rourke, Donald Trump, gun violence, and white nationalism.
