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Great News Sports Fans: Bullfighting Is Coming To America

Bullfighting parody with two bulls boxing each other.

MADRID, SPAIN–Β It took a long time, but bullfighting is finally coming to America and fans of the sport couldn’t be happier.

Even though bullfighting has been a popular sport in many Spanish-speaking countries for hundreds of years, it’s taken a long time for the majority of Western civilization to finally accept the violent sport and invite it into America.


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By a vote of 233 to 190, the United States Congress has decided to allow the brutal game to make its way into American culture and it will now compete with other sports for popularity.

For those that don’t already know, bullfighting is where too highly trained bull athletes lace up their hooves and horns and try to beat the hell out of one another until one of the bullfighters gets knocked out.

Bullfighting parody with two bulls boxing each other.
Bullfighting has finally arrived in America. Here we see two bull prize fighters slugging it out in a preliminary fight as the enthralled audience looks on.

If after ten rounds neither bull goes down for the count, then a panel of judges decides the winner by tallying up the points in every round for each bull.

One of Spain’s top bullfighters Torero Fuerte says that he’s excited to make his debut in America and hopes that the American bulls will be able to compete against the rest of the world in the next summer Olympics.


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“America has a bright future ahead,” Fuerte said by way of translator. “I just hope that one day bullfighting will be become as mainstream as cockfighting is today.”

It must be noted that at one time cockfighting also faced the same resistance before it became widely accepted as a sport. Still, many anti-violence groups oppose the bloody sports and have been petitioning Congress to retract their votes in favor of allowing yet another violent sport into America.

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