Finally! Elon Muskrat Builds A Massive Bridge To Mars
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA– Billionaire Elon Muskrat has finally accomplished the unthinkable by building a bridge that starts on earth and
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NEWS
US Border Patrol Arrests 69 Illegal Canadian Geese at New York Border
RIVERHEAD, NEW YORK– A flock of 69 illegal Canada geese was detained near Riverhead, New York on Tuesday night, according
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Bamboo Origin’s New Cub Spacecraft Launches NASA Experiments
ARMADILLO, TEXAS– Bamboo Origin’s New Cub spacecraft launched into space today on its 69th ever test flight. The four bear trip
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What’s Your New Year’s Resolution?
GALVESTON, TEXAS– It’s that time of year again, folks. Time to make another New Year’s resolution that you plan on
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Interspecies Dating Sites On The Rise As More Animals Seek Love Outside Their Kind
SUNNYVALE, CALIFORNIA– Interspecies dating sites have been exploding as of late, due to the fact that many animals have been
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As More Males Leave The Burrow, Female Meerkats Turn To Stripping And Prostitution
SOUTH AFRICA– As more male meerkats leave their counterparts behind in search of other lifestyles, females are being forced to turn
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Cow Shoots Rooster For Crowing Too Loud, Gets Probation
HOUSTON, TEXAS– A Houston cow that shot a rooster was sentenced to one week probation and counseling Friday in court,
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Hold The Feathers: Chicken Sues After Going Bald From Shampoo
EAGLE RIVER, WISCONSIN– How would you feel if you woke up one morning and found a pillow full of feather down.
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Plus Size Hippo Sheds 900 Pounds After Getting Fat-Shamed On Instagram
MIAMI, FLORIDA– A plus size hippopotamus from Miami has gained a whole new audience after her drastic weight loss became
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Police Arrest Three Seagulls And Take Down Major Carrion Hub
DETROIT, MICHIGAN– Detroit police and detectives raided the Beach Cove Apartment complex early Wednesday morning, arresting three seagulls and shutting
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