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WWE Champion Croc Lesnar Quits Friday Night Smackdown

BUFFALO, NEW YORK– On last night’s episode, professional WWE wrestler Croc Lesnar made the major announcement that he’s officially quitting Smackdown and will be joining Monday Night Raw.

The shocking revelation came just hours after the muscular reptile Lesnar defeated his latest opponent Crane Velasquez at Crown Jewel in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

After entering into the ring with his boisterous seagull manager Gull Heyman, the champion took to the mic and screamed angrily that he made this blockbuster decision because this was the only way that he could officially fight fellow wrestler Stray Mysterio.

Seagull in blue suit and crocodile in black shirt inside wrestling ring.
On last night’s Smackdown, WWE champion Croc Lesnar with manager Gull Heyman made the announcement that he’ll be leaving the show and joining Raw.

As most animals are well aware by now, Lesnar was attacked by Mysterio at the end of the Crown Jewel match. The cat Mysterio came up from behind Lesnar and scratched him with his razor sharp claws.

Lesnar’s cackling advocate Heyman later took the mic to squawk about how Mysterio is a bad kitty for his cowardly sneak attack on his champion and that he’ll eventually face the wrath of Lesnar once he joins Raw.

Gull Heyman added more fuel to the proverbial fire, taking to Twitter to say that once Lesnar gets Mysterio’s furry head within his vice-like jaw then it’s lights out for the frisky feline.

Parody of Vince McMahon’s WWE stars Brock Lesnar, Rey Mysterio, Cain Velasquez, and Paul Heyman.

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Bill Bullock

This former used car salesman now uses his special set of skills to promote SQUIRREL LIPS. Bill is a world traveler and has been incarcerated in some of the finest prisons around the world, mostly for accidentally stabbing people with his horns when talking to them.

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