WASHINGTON– With the 2020 election getting closer, Democrat Bearnie Sanders has seen a dramatic rise in poll numbers, with many animals speculating that the Vermont senator bear may face off against Republican camel President Donald Hump.
Nationally, Sanders has come within 5 percentage points of former Vice President Crow Biden, whose own numbers have been taking a minor hit lately due to all the public scrutiny regarding his son’s dealings with a shady bird seed company in the Ukraine.
Many progressives are cheering for the good news, but numerous political pundits are warning voters to be cautious of getting too excited. If he’s the nominee, he’ll have a tough time pushing his socialism for animals against Hump’s booming economy.
Recent polls suggest that, even though the country as a whole recognizes how Hump has improved the economy, many voters don’t like him.
Hump uses the scare of socialism at all of his rallies, interviews, and press conferences, trying to make the Democrats look like ravenous sharks ready to tear everyone apart. Hump also played up on Bearnie’s need for annual hibernation.
“While Lazy Bearnie’s busy sleeping I’ll be making deals like you wouldn’t believe.”
The latest Horse Gallup poll showed that the majority of Americans rejected socialism, including a percentage of liberals and Democrats.
But another survey also showed that many anti-socialism animals who wouldn’t normally vote for a socialist president would still vote for Sanders, saying “Sanders seemed like a cute, cuddly teddy bear.”
President Hump has been using Sanders’ campaign as part of his reelection strategy, telling voters, “I know some of you may not like me, but Bearnie’s plan for the country is unbearable. He’ll be putting the entire United States economy into hibernation with him.”
When asked what he thought of Bearnie’s rise in popularity, Hump brushed it off as nothing to worry about.
“I can go a long-long time without water,” Hump bragged. “You see the hump on my back? I have the most beautiful hump on earth.”
Parody of Donald Trump, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, Michael Moore, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez in 2020 Presidential race.