Paul Barker
PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA– Philadelphia police are searching for two eastern gray squirrels involved in a slew of robberies dating back as far as last year.
Local news media has dubbed the two crafty criminals as “the dynamic duo” because they always work together to commit their crimes.
According to police, the squirrels are wanted for grand larceny and have been alluding authorities for months. Rough estimates show that they’ve taken a minimum of $2,469 in stolen goods, which includes bird seed, peanuts, eggs, nuts, fruit, and vegetables out of neighboring gardens.
The squirrels are also wanted for public urination on a Philadelphia Eagles memorial.
See Also: Cow Shoots Rooster For Crowing Too Loud, Gets Probation
Both squirrels are said to be males around 2 years old, about 11 inches long, weighing roughly 1.3 lbs. One of the squirrels has a tattoo of the words “Pine Life” on his left forearm, and his accomplice has a tattoo of a large acorn on his back.
The squirrels were last seen wearing black masks and no clothing, said authorities. Police said that they believe the two rodents may be under the influence of narcotics, due to the fact that they commit many of their crimes while naked.
Witnesses state the squirrels are usually non-violent, taking whatever they want before fleeing the scene. The only reported injury was from an unidentified cardinal who lost a few feathers after the squirrels chased him away from their stolen goods.
Related: Escaped California Prison Inmate John ‘Uncle’ Buck Is Captured By Police
Police are telling other animals to avoid approaching the suspects because they could possibly attack if they feel threatened.
A home surveillance video caught the two criminals in the middle of one of their crimes. A still from the video was sent to various news media outlets in an effort to capture the wanted criminals.
Police are asking anyone with information to send any tips to Tip 69 or by calling the criminal investigators at 555-6969.
