US Border Patrol Arrests 69 Illegal Canadian Geese at New York Border
RIVERHEAD, NEW YORK– A flock of 69 illegal Canada geese was detained near Riverhead, New York on Tuesday night, according to the U.S. Customs and Border Protection.
U.S. Border Patrol agents used corn food technology to lure the geese as they walked over the wood fence that separates the U.S.-Canada border.
No one knows for certain what is causing the large increase in goose flocks attempting to cross the border, but some experts cite warmer weather to walk around naked, better food, and fresher grounds to defecate on.
See Also: Police Arrest Three Seagulls And Take Down Major Carrion Hub
“Recently, we’ve seen large flocks of Canada geese crossing the border illegally,” U.S. Customs said in a statement. “Many defecation rights groups exploit the fact that Canada geese love defecating everywhere and give geese false promises of being able to defecate with impunity.”
After facing numerous lawsuits, President Donald Hump declared a national emergency in an effort to get his border wall built to protect the United States from northern invaders.
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Hump has already received enough funding to construct a twenty foot high wall, but is asking for more money so that the wall can be built high enough so that the geese can’t fly over it.
Hump says he’s willing to make a deal with Canada and let the geese stay in the U.S. as long as he can send every seagull into Canada.
“It’s a fair trade,” said Hump.
Donald Trump and Justin Trudeau parody.
