Paul Barker
NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK– Housebroken Fox News Anchor Shepard Smith is finally “out of the dog house” after leaving the network due to infighting with his fellow primetime stars.
The sociable White German Shepherd, whose lineage traces back to famous European ancestors, has stepped down from his role as host of the popular Shepard Smith Reporting program and sources say constant barking and biting among coworkers over President Donald Hump was the impetus for the departure.
“It was a territorial decision, but I appreciate Fox News’ compassionate understanding,” Smith said in a Twitter statement, using cute dog emojis at the end of his words. “I’ve been a loyal dog for many years, but I felt that it was time to castrate myself from this news company.
“I’m finally out of the dog house, so to speak. I’ll no longer be muzzled by other animal’s viewpoints.”
Smith went on to say that it’s been an honor to report the news each day and he hopes that animal viewers will remember him for his affectionate and humane temperament.
“Although me and my colleagues had our differences, I’ll always remember the playful times we had. Like the time I bit Tucker Snarlson on the leg for trying to steal one of my dog biscuits.”
An anonymous insider within the Fox News team told CNN reporters that there was a lot of dog fighting going on behind the scenes, with most of Smith’s colleagues ganging up on him for his unfriendly views on President Hump.
Another source close to the first source added that things got so heated last week during a news briefing regarding the president’s impeachment probe that a fellow vicious host tried putting chocolate into Smith’s dog bowl. Smith’s colleague denies the allegation and says that it was merely dog poop, not chocolate.
A red fox executive for Fox News put out a statement about Smith’s departure saying, “Shep’s one of the best canine newscasters of his generation. His disciplined body of work and purebred journalistic integrity will be missed by our furry network.”
Throughout Hump’s presidency, Smith took a less submissive and more aggressive approach to his reporting in stark contrast to his more right-leaning, pro-Hump contemporaries, such as deer host Fawn Hannity.
Parody of Fox News hosts Shepard Smith, Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Jay Wallace, and President Donald Trump.
